Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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