no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
