i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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