The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
