can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
