So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
