but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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