3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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