well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
