We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
