i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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