Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
