Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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