Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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