When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
