We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
