we're blogging at a bar
we have officially lost it.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
