I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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