Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
