who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
