I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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