11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
