Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
