Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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