Im at strip club and am horny
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
