I love black thongs
Plan B is the new Plan A
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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