I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize