A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
