Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
