Ambien. No doubt about it.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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