I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
