Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
