at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So apparently I’m into choking now
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
