What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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