ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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