I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
