Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
