And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
