I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
