Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
