WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
