watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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