You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
