YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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