The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
