Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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