You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
