you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
