apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
