would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
