I wannas sexs uuuuu
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
well you can't waste a boner
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
