our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
