There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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