the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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