I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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