Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
