honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
