I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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