Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I would fuck him just for his dog
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize