was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
