How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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