At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
