ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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