There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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