Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Randomize