so let's talk penis.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
